kipler@aol.com

x-files shippers are obsessed with scully and mulder’s ‘romantic’ relationship. according to me, the main duty of a shipper is to romantically enhance screenshots of the couple and post them on your angelfire site.

sculder aka muldy

due to the recent demise of aol hometown and other such places (thanks a lot web 2.0), its been hard to track down some of these classic shipper sites. it was a very sad moment in time when i realized kipler’s famous ‘relationship episode guide’ was shutdown. but! i was able to track down the salvaged remains of it at x-files ultimate thanks to ‘athame’. kipler@aol.com (aka mary beth clarke), was an og shipper who was featured in the x-files episode DPO. you should know this episode as the one where the guy from wonder years hangs out with jack black at an arcade and gets struck by lightning, gaining the magical ability to kill people with electricity while listening to filter. while channel surfing, he stops on a music video for a song called ‘Mary Beth Clarke, I love you’ directed by JHartley (another AOL x-phile) and produced by Deb Brown (yet another AOL x-phile). i’ve posted a few of my favey excerpts from the guide below. i love how kipler gets very in-depth about the romantic details but wraps up all the paranormal stuff in one sentence as if they were just minor details. the downside to the guide are the lame comments on scully’s weight. lay off! scully always looks good. someone just needs to get a hold of their raging lust for mulder. the beauty of gillian anderson is that she doesn’t even remember the x-files. she’s just really good at memorizing her lines. if you want to check out my own humble fan art, it is available here at my og tripod webbie site aboutangelica.

excerpts from kipler’s relationship episode guide

1.1 Pilot

Scully meets Mulder. Mulder gets to see Scully in her undies and examine her near-buttocks regions. She lies in his bed and they talk about heavy, deep and real stuff. Later, they laugh together and almost hug in a rainstorm. Mulder calls Scully at 11:21 to tell her a bunch of evidence is missing.

1.6 Shadows

Mulder wraps one arm around Scully as he is showing her some fingerprints on his glasses.

1.12 Fire

Mulder almost sleeps with his demonic ex-lover. Scully takes care of him after he gets smoke inhalation. He lets her see him in his boxers. Is she the one who undressed him in the first place?

1.13 Beyond the Sea

Scully’s father dies and she doesn’t cry. Mulder caresses her face. He calls her Dana. Three times. Mulder gets shot and she almost cries. Later, she threatens the man responsible for his wound. Scully sits on Mulder’s hospital bed. He tenderly rubs her shoulder despite his own pain.

1.14 GenderBender

Scully almost sleeps with a gender-shifting alien. Mulder saves her and pulls her shirt closed. She throws up. Krycek, in an alternate personality, nearly gets killed by having sex with an alien.

1.16 Young at Heart

Mulder’s former partner gets killed. Mulder inexplicably lets Scully serve as a living target for the psychopath who did it. This guy has a salamander hand. Can you believe it? To calm Scully’s I can’t believe I’m a human target for an amphibidextrous psychopath fears, Mulder winks at her. She gets shot, but she’s OK; she was wearing a vest.

1.19 Shapes

Scully gets attacked by a werewolf. Mulder is worried on the phone. Scully doesn’t understand the whole werewolf thing, even though it is pretty obvious.

1.20 Darkness Falls

Scully is pissed at Mulder for giving away the gasoline. She gets over it. She freaks out when little green bugs are on her. Mulder calms her. They sit close on a bench. They are cocooned and killed by the bugs, but somehow they survive. They are put in the same hospital room. Mulder makes a deposit in his angst bank, because he dragged Scully in on this case. They wear funny hat things at the end, while they’re on IV’s.

1.22 Born Again

Mulder helps a little girl relive her former life. Scully is there, too.

1.24 The Erlenmeyer Flask

Mulder finds some guys in water. Scully tries to call him, but can’t get through. She’s worried. Mulder comes home. They talk. Mulder gets kidnapped. Scully tries to call him, but can’t get through. She’s VERY worried. She meets Deep Throat. Scully trades an alien fetus for Mulder’s life.

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5 Comments

  1. Posted December 1, 2009 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    HAHAHA! Awesome!!!!! I’m going to get into shipper culter. so many show couples i like.

  2. angie
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 6:04 pm | Permalink

    i know! ur a harry potter/malfoy shipper! lol.

  3. Posted December 10, 2009 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    oh yeah. thanks for reminding me. i am! angie, will you teach me how to make fan art? :-D

  4. angelica
    Posted December 17, 2009 at 11:05 pm | Permalink

    haha. what happened to our x-files watching party?

  5. Posted June 10, 2010 at 7:56 am | Permalink

    hahah okay so this is how moronic I am, midway through reading your post I accidentally dropped my computer mouse and shut down the window by mistake and I could not find your article once again right up until 6 days afterwards to finish reading from the spot i had left off since I did not remember how I linked to your site to begin with haha at any rate it was worth the delay..thanks :)