Author Archives: naomi

A Brief Note Regarding “I’d Hit It”

“I’d Hit It” refers to a phrase commonly used in a conversation between men on the Internet, when they are presented with the photograph of a woman who does not meet their standards for attractiveness. One would say “I’d hit it” to express that, if offered the opportunity in another hypothetical reality, he would have sex with that woman one time, and then dismiss her since it had already been established that she was not worth pursuing a relationship with. It should be noted that in fact, these standards are highly inflated and in reality these men would sleep with, and date, someone far less attractive even than the photograph. The expression can also be used to connote that the woman in question, although physically attractive, is in some other way undesirable due to any number of character flaws.

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My literary criticism of the novel “Whatever”, by Michel Houellebecq

Literary criticism of the novel “Whatever”, by Michel Houellebecq
By Naomi Elizabeth
(As an aside: You know who decided it was ok to put me in the position of writing literary criticism? You know who? Fuck you.)
The first part of the novel is invariably flat. The protagonist’s experience is full of mildly depressing observations and alienating interactions with fellow office workers. It never veers too far towards pathos on the one hand, or lightheartedness on the other. The flatness, the emotionless account of a person’s, frankly boring, daily routine was to me a strong statement about the quotidien of human activities.
At the end of the book the character starts to fall apart, become violent and suicidal, and the story ends on a miserable note. For my purposes, evoking miserable images is just too easy. I was more moved by the initial sterility, the sense of looming unhappiness that is never fully pinpointed or addressed. What I found impressive was the book’s ability to create sustained, unresolved dissatisfaction, without any outstanding events or drama occurring.
After that, the concept of ensuing crisis or unraveling is comparatively less magnificent. Otherwise, my favorite part of the book was the story of the chimpanzee who, having questioned the meaning of life, had to inevitably be murdered by an army of storks.

What It’s Like To Work For PrettyCoolLand

What It’s Like To Work For Pretty Cool Land

by Naomi Elizabeth

A lot of people ask me what it’s like to work with Angie and Margot, so I thought I would tell everyone about my experiences here. First of all, I know they make it all look like fun and games, and the truth is that, it is!
On my first day, I was a little nervous, to be honest with you. Margot and Angie are both so nice, but they are intimidating when you meet them! They are so funny and cool, and all their friends are really funny too. But they made me feel at home right away, and I’ve been doing my best ever since.
Sometimes, in the middle of working, they’ll just put some records on the turntable and start dancing! It’s a great way to take a break in the middle of the day.
It all goes to show you, that you can have a lot of fun on the job, without putting a dent in your productivity. Thanks for giving me this opportunity, you guys, I’ll never forget it.

PS I’m just kidding. I don’t work for this website and I’m just some asshole.

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Stock Photography Art Project

By Naomi Elizabeth

May 25 2010

One day last week I was reading about stock photographs and I became suddenly obsessed with the idea of taking them myself. Prior to that day I had never thought even once about the subject. Primarily because, as we all know, stock photos are disturbing, oppressive, and slightly nauseating. It was this element of filth itself that drew me to the idea.

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