I can’t stop reading this blog by self-proclaimed cam-whore and “internet bitch” XiaXue. Azn girl culture is so intense right now. If you want to delve straight into its darkness you must read her blog.
Tens of thousands of people just like me read her long-ass posts about chin minimizers, teeth whiteners and potato chips even when she has made it blatantly clear that they are just advertisements she was paid to write. That is crazy. Wtf. Why do I read it? Because she’s funny and really f-ing weird in a way that reminds me of my own relatives. She writes like a ditz, gives good hair advice, likes all the same goofy girly cute stuff I do and horrifies me with bloody pictures of herself right after eye lid surgery! Plus she writes “meh?” at the end of a lot of sentences and I like that.
I know she can be really shallow and sometimes mean but then she’ll reel me back in with a really cute post about how Christians need to stop bagging on gay people. Also, in my head she sounds like a Valley Girl but I guess that’s just how my brain sounds cus I watched a video she made and her voice is unexpectedly deep. It was kinda weird but somehow made me even more fascinated with her.
Anyway, my point is that there she is right there on the internet saying all of these awesome things for us to read and think about:
“As we grow, every single thing on us grows, except two: EYEBALLS.”
“She’d be like all “Wendy use your blog popularity for good and to praise baby Jesus etc” and I’d be like “Uh stfu bitch.”"
“Actually I’ve been feeling that life is quite meaningless after the last Harry Potter book was written!!”
“Being Asian, I obviously LOVE rice. And now I can haz rice with my potato chips.”
“I think it’s the single most awesome make up item, because every other make up only either conceals your flaws or emphasizes your chio bits… But contacts… CONTACTS COMPLETELY COVERS YOUR ORIGINAL BODY PART. So it doesn’t matter if your iris is very small, a bit small, or not the colour you want. Once you wear your contacts it will be your DREAM IRIS!”
“If you are watching a sex scene with a date then great, perhaps it’d lead to sex for the first time between you two. Congratulations.”
“Rice is the new potato.”
“I was like “EW! Who the hell invited her?!!” and kept checking the corners are clear (cue kungfu chop) before turning into them just in case she punches my newly surgeried eyes.”
“Wah lau I wish I was chio enough to be in an MTV lor with 2 hot guys fighting over me ccb.”
“Did I already mention that the Japanese are freaking geniuses?? Everytime I see an awesome idea from them I get more and more convinced that the rest of us are cavemen.”
“When people talk about their lofty dreams (which I presume makes them wanna carry on living) and in turn ask me what I want in life, all I really wanted to do (but didn’t) was…
1) To attend a prom (and be prom queen! I’ve never went to prom ever) 2) To join a sorority 3) To be a cheerleader. WTF IS THIS NONSENSE??”
“Gang members should appear in Priuses (it’s a hybrid car)! Trust me, an environmentally friendly gang? It sends the message “I’m cool and will kill you but I wanna save this beautiful Earth”.”
